Friday, March 15, 2013

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infinity Demo Impressions

Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Gates to Infinity 3DS

I was in elementary school when the original Pokemon Mystery Dungeon came out. I played it quite a bit, but I never really understood it. Today, I still don't understand it. Pokemon Mystery Dungeon: Gates to Infinity reinforces the idea that this series is just a stripped down version of a regular Pokemon game that is far more fit to be a $10 download than a $40 retail release. Not only is the game not very good, but the demo is not very good either.

The demo starts off at the very beginning of the game. It does this because you can transfer your save game from the demo to the retail version when the game is released soon. However this means instead of actually being able to demo the game, you must first sit through 20 minutes of poor writing and a boring story. Wow does this game have some awful writing. Nintendo is all about simplicity and childishness, but this game takes it way too far. It actually seems like a first grader just wrote a bunch of run-on-sentences and submitted them to Nintendo as fan fiction. Nintendo was drunk at the time and thought the first grader's writing was the actual plot to the game they were making so they used it.

Gameplay is extremely disappointing as well. Dungeons are all straight and almost 2D in appearance, making the circle pad almost unusable. The combat could put a baby on cocaine to sleep in an instant because it it kind-of-real-time-but-not-really and requires the use of a single button for almost the entire length of a dungeon. When you finally get out of the first dungeon, you are greeted to more terrible writing.

I wish I knew why the Mystery Dungeon series still exists, but I don't. Nobody buys the games, nobody likes the games, most people haven't even heard of the games. Yet for some strange reason Nintendo keeps pumping them out. I'm fine with that, just keep the games away from me.

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